Am Back...

Okay...

I had to re-read my own posts to remember where was I?? The Delhi Blasts in Sept 2008...gawd! I have moved on and so has the world around me! And didn't I make myself a promise to publish myself every now and then?? What happened to that??

Okay...

I got lazy...PERIOD!

And...

I hope to be back...like I always wanted to!

Somehow I have this uncanny feeling that I resort to blogging after I have read too many of others'...you know like they say, when you read a good book, you search your soul to find a better story to tell! Thankfully my work requires me to read a lot (albeit on the net), and that is what makes me cringe at the thought that I did make it a practice to write regularly! Arghhhh...there I kick myself again!

Okay...

Now that I am done with the cussing...let's see how long it lasts this time!

Writer's Block

When I was young, let's say when I was in school, I wrote poems. Poems about friendship, seasons, my family...crushes and even my first love! When we formed SARRA (our band), I even penned a few songs, which I must admit never found their tune since I was always so worried about public censure! I also wrote a diary, towards which I was fiercely religious! But when I tried my hand at writing for the school magazine, I found myself to be politely rejected! Not that I was tested on my writing skills...it was just a one-on-one interview, thank God, I never got to write for it! In college, my room mate and I were inspired to write a play. During my post graduation, I tried my hand at story writing and even screenplay...all because it was part of my curriculum! 

Anyways, the purpose behind writing such a long preamble to my writing career is that I have written on several occasions. Sometimes for the sake of self expression, at others for the sake of others! But on all these occasions, I never took it seriously...never attached any importance to the act of writing a piece of fiction. 

Fiction stimulates me...I always say that one must remember a book for the story it tells. In fact that goes for any piece of writing. If the content is worth reading, there'd always be someone wanting to read it. Now I wish, I had shared my poems and not stacked them away. I wish I had sung those songs, maybe SARRA would have won some more competitions! That was my writer's block...never had the courage! I could never take the plunge! There wasn't a dearth of ideas...never! They always kept flowing...and I always kept writing. Just that I was a coward...too worried about what people would think of me!

For all those people who have known me since my growing up days, this would be a revelation of sorts. I have never shared my writings with anyone! In fact till date, I have never kept a copy of anything! Phew...all those moments of self indulgence are a waste now. I would write something, read it aloud, keep it for a few days and then tear it away! I think I only treasured the (chat) chits that we circulated in class 7th the longest! 

It's taken me a while to come to terms with my writer's block...today I am not scared of public opinion. I am not scared of the brick-bracks. I may not be as good as a Jhumpa Lahiri...but hey, I may have something worth reading! And if it is not...you are always welcome to close your window or move on to the next blog! 

The first sip...

...of coffee?? Nah...I'd say of expressing myself on the world wide web...of blogging...of getting the first taste of it...what does it feel like? Hmmm...lemme linger over my cuppa for a while...

I have enjoyed reading other people's blogs...c'mon...who doesn't? To me...it's the cheapest form of voyeurism...the internet comes cheap you see...! And I've had my own share too...I have read other's blogs...read their confessions and thoughts...and have commented sometimes...but I have never been mean to anyone...I can say that! It's a great space...to express your thoughts...muse over them...edit...preview...publish and receive comments on!

3 years back I made a few promises to myself...one of which was to blog. It started with a fancy name...which I can't remember now...but it never breathed a day...this time around, I hope to complete the gestation period...to me its a month of regular writing...and then see my baby deliver...after all writing is also a creation of sorts...waah waah...whatta profound thought!

But then why am I blogging??? Let me answer that question to myself...I'd say to get into the habit of writing...I have always nurtured the dream of writing fiction someday...aahhh...there goes my most secret desire...and seeing my words in print...albiet on a blog....sigh! Also to be more vocal...I am not sure who'd like to hear/read me out...but nonetheless I'd like to indulge in some expression of thought, which I hope would be of some interest to others besides myself! So here are a few promises...I'd like to keep this space fairly non personal...don't mock me if I talk about my personal life considering its fairly uninteresting!...use this space for some fair speech and random thoughts...promise not to bore people with my non sensical and illogical point of view...and for publishing a few original pieces of work...let's hope I get to write my original stories here!

So why should anyone read it??? DONT...! Coz I am not really craving for comments...but if you really can't hold your urge to maaro a comment...type on!!!!!!!

The first cup wasn't bad at all...I think i'll order a second one tomorrow...